Lady Deadpool vs. Jinx - Prelude

Hakuboshi: “Mercenaries and anarchists. They tend to be foes til the end. For the most part, they’re clever and a frightening case of destruction. Other time, they’re nutter than fruitcakes made for squirrels with an A+ in chaos and destruction. Like Wanda Wilson, the Lady Deadpool.”

Wendy: “And Jinx, the Loose Cannon of League!”

Hakuboshi: “I’m Haku and shes Wendy.”

Wendy: “And welcome, to DEATH BATTLE!”

 




Biography

Height: 5’8 (172 cm)

Weight: 135 lbs. (61 kg)

Aliasis: Sassy Pants, Boobs, Ladypool

Hakuboshi: “Born on Earth-3010; Wanda Wilson’s past is, for the most part, unknown.”

Wendy: “Please tell me she can’t break the fourth wall.”

Hakuboshi: “I checked. She can’t.”

Wendy: “Ooh thank God. An-.”

Deadpool: “But I can! Oh, Haku, nice picture of choice.”

Hakuboshi: “Why the hell are you here!?”

Deadpool: “Well I heard you were doing Wanda a service by placing her in a fight so I thought I’d drop by and help you out, besides with your choppy skills-.”

Wendy: “Theres chimechangas and strippers in the Lounge.”

Deadpool: “Oh! BRB!”

Wendy: “…Please tell me that belts broken.”

Hakuboshi: “I broke it as he came in. And locked the door.”

Wendy: “Thanks. Anyway, Wanda presumably had the same past, she would gain superhuman attributes and healing factor in an attempt to stop her cancer. However, in her first major adventure, she decided to fight against a corrupt Captain… GENERAL America.”

Hakuboshi: “That’s when she met Wade Wilson and… Wade Wilson.”

Wendy: “… What?”

Hakuboshi: “Wade Wilson of Earth-616 and the Wade Wilson of Earth-2149; the Zombie Marvel Universe.”

Wendy: “Oh right, when Marvel’s idiotic method to cash in on the zombie craze.”

Hakuboshi: “Either way, the three Deadpools ganged up on General America and thanks to Wade biting him, Wade and Wanda took advantage of his panic to beat him up and take his arm off, mainly so he doesn’t get infected.”

Wendy: “Remember when Captain America had Anti-Fodder Armor? Ah the benefits of alternate realities.”

Hakuboshi: “Wanda soon became a member of the Deadpool Corp… and you thought Marvel loved Deadpool now.”

Wendy: “Its Deathstroke’s version of Hell. Deadpools everywhere! Wolverine Deadpool, Panda Deadpool, Pig Deadpool oh I WISH I was making this shit up!”

Hakuboshi: “Numerous adventures later and Wanda did lose her cancer, likely due to her being the sole woman and they wanted to beauty her up... or at least I hope, to show she beat her cancer.”

Wendy: “Her adventures did sadly meet an end when Dreadpool decided to bring all the Deadpools together and kill them all in his journey to destroy the multiverse.”

Hakuboshi: “While Panda Deadpool isn’t an ally yes… but her adventures ended when Wanda crashed the spaceship into Galactipool.”

Wendy: “Wait… GALACTUS Deadpool!? Killed by a fucking ship!? Galactus is going to get destroyed by Unicron…”

Hakuboshi: “On the bright side, she went out with a bang.”

Weapons

Handguns

*Trusty handguns

Twin Katanas

*Did I mention they’re katanas?


Rifles


Bea Arthur

*Named from the famous actress

*Spaceship


Really… anything due to hammerspace

Hakuboshi: “Wanda has less weapons, mainly consisting of two handguns and two swords. However, like Wade, she has the pockets of Link.”

Wendy: “Meaning she can hammerspace o’course. Sniper rifles, cans of beer, grenades, she can summon whatever she wants depending on the situation, but the best thing in her arsenal is the Bea Arthur, a spaceship.”

Hakuboshi: “That name sounds familiar too… actress?”

Wendy: “Entertainment Tonight? All in the Family? That Star Wars special we agreed to never speak of under contract? Hell, she was Femputer on Futurama.”

Hakuboshi: “Ohhhh! Now I know. Huh, thats... surprisingly respectful of them.”

Abilities

Assassin Expert and Peak Human Conditioning

*Skilled with firearms and blades

*Capable in CQC and sniping

Human Conditioning

*Acrobatic fighter

*Olympic-level stamina, agility, and speed

*Reflexes are better than athletes

*Peak Human Strength, can lift 420 lbs. (190 kg)

Healing Factor

*Actually cured her cancer

*Made from extract of Wolverine

*Can regrow organs and reattach limbs

*Not immortal

*Immune to diseases and toxins

Multi-lingual

*Speaks English, Japanese, Spanish, and Japanese

Insanity Defense

*Immunity to telepathic attacks due to insanity

Hammerspace/Magic Satchel

*Can pull out anything she desires

*Even beer

Hakuboshi: “Like Wade, Wanda’s biggest advantage is her healing factor, which can heal her faster than the cancer could kill her.”

Wendy: “Because of this, shes immune to all sorts of diseases and can grow back nearly anything she loses. She can speak four different languages, has immunity to telepaths, and is at the peak of human conditioning!”

Deadpool: “Sadly, shes a sloppy kisser.”

Hakuboshi: “Shit!! How- WHY ARE YOU A HEAD!!?”

Deadpool: “Oh sorry, I noticed my belt got messed up, damnthingdoestendtodothat and the door was locked so I thought ‘Oh! They must be doing something naa-aughty and threw my head into the vents.”

Wendy: “… Why does Edge keep him around again?”

Hakuboshi: “I’ll take care of this, can you finish this one up?”

Wendy: “Sure!”

Deadpool: “W-Wait, I can help! I ca- OW! Agh! Not the eyeball!”

Wendy: “What really makes Wanda handy is the magic satchel, this allows her to bring up any weapon she desires. Helpful thanks to her insanity really. Wanda is also a seasoned assassin and mercenary, much like the Regenerating Degenerate shes based from.”

Deadpool: “Not the people’s elbow!”

-CRUNCH-

Wendy: “… 10 tons of force… that was a bit much.”

Hakuboshi: “Just to teach him a lesson. Thanks Wen.”

Feats

Founding member of the Deadpool Corps

Killed General America

Lost her cancer

Killed Galactipool

NUMBER 4 IN HOTTEST WOMEN

Weaknesses

Not immortal

Insane

Reckless

Less weapons than Deadpool himself 

Hakuboshi: “Wanda, like Wade, is a powerful assassin, and a force to be reckoned with. However, mostly because shes not an A-Tier character, shes quite lacking.”

Wendy: “While the hammer space comes in handy, she doesn’t have a lot of weapons in combat. Shes also insane much like Wade himself, and is actually capable of dying. As seen when she rammed a ship into Galactipool’s face.”

Hakuboshi: “However, she DID take him with her. She managed to kill Cesspool and even became a founding member of the Deadpool Corp, consisting of her, Dogpool, Headpool, and Deadpool.”

Wendy: “And… fourth hottest woman? What the hell?”

Deadpool: “still got… the last… laugh in…”

Hakuboshi: “… Wendy?”

Wendy: “Lets.”

Deadpool: “What’re-  is th-? Oh God… Not double leg drops!!”

(Deadpool: “Hey, hey! A Deadpool team up!”

Lady Deadpool/Wanda Wilson: “I expect to be rescuing you in thirty seconds.”)

JINX

Biography

Height: ~ 5’5 (161 cm)

Aliases: The Loose Cannon, I’m Soo Unique

Rival to Vi and Catilyn

Hakuboshi: “Holy crap, this woman is like you in so many ways…”

Wendy: “Desturctive and beautiful?”

Hakuboshi: “YES.”

Wendy: “Awww!”

Hakuboshi: “Born in Zaun, an industrial city-state run amok by unchecked magic and industry; Jinx’s past is shrouded in mystery, but one thing was for certain.”

Wendy: “She is bad to the bone! This blue haired maniac has one goal in mind! Burn the world down!”

Hakuboshi: “She targeted Piltover, the City of Progress. The city, once known for its low crime rate was her favored zone.”

Wendy: “And she did not waste time! Jinx went full Ceaser on the place!”

Hakuboshi: “Got crushed by rubble?”

Wendy: “Wha-? No! ea venit, ea vidit, ea vicit! She came, she saw, she conquered! Using rockets, guns, and causing flat out chaos, she turned the progressive city on its head! But to really rub it in, Jinx challenged one of their best officers: Garnet. She challenged the cop to a chase around the city.”

Hakuboshi: “Jinx led Vi to one of the most secure buildings in Piltover, and then blew it up. As the rubble collapsed around them, Vi survived, but Jinx had not only gotten away, but even left behind the gold as a mocking gesture of her accomplishment.”

Wendy: “But the most damning thing? She not only told the city that they will never catch her, and sent the city to darkness.”

Hakuboshi: “Thus began the tale of one of League’s most popular characters.”

Wendy: “The daughter of The Boss!

 
Weapons

Pow-Pow

*Minigun

*Infinite ammo

*Takes down robots with ease


Fishbones

*A fish shaped rocket launcher

*Decent splash damage range

*Puppet


Flame Chopper

*Lays out three mines

*Combusts the foe, dealing burning damage

*Useful for scouting and sneak attacks

*Good for retreating


Zap!

*Slows down the foe with electric pistol rounds

*Useful when hiding or to catch up with a foe

*Helpful in sneak attacks


Super Mega Death Rocket

*GIANT ASS ROCKETS

*Won’t stop until it hits something

*Great splash damage

*Charge time

*Blast is stronger the further the enemy is or the less health they have


Giant Rockets cuz why not

*Can blow up a building and drop entire blimps

*Because why the fuck not?!

Hakuboshi: “Jinx has an impressive arsenal built around, well, blowing stuff up.”

Wendy: “Such as her trusty minigun, Pow-Pow! A triple-barreled weapon with no ammunition limit! Alongside this is Fishbones, a rocket launcher she uses as a puppet. This baby can fire shells strong enough to blow up several robots at once.”

Hakuboshi: “And due to its design, probably as a guillotine.”

Wendy: “… I love you just for saying that.”

Hakuboshi: “Uuhhh okay? Anyway, Jinx also has the incedinary grenades strong enough to destroy robotic guards, and can toss at least three of them for protection and to ensue she gets a clean get-away; and also, she carries the Zap pistol, a pistol that shoots electricity.”

Wendy: “Oh no, it doesn’t just shoot you, it makes sure you feel it by slowing you down. Rather its for a retreat or to make sure you can’t escape. Especially useful for her sure-fire kill weapon: the SUPER MEGA DEATH ROCKET!”

Hakuboshi: “This weapon fires large bullet bill-like rockets that travel untl they hit something. To make matters worse? The impact leaves large splash damage, ensuring nobody gets away. The problem being that it can hurt her or her team as well.”

Wendy: “Ha ha ha! Poor idiots, need to move then! And that’s not even all! For the coup de grȃce, she has giant ass rockets! These babies are large enough for her to surf on, travel long distances, and presumably leave explosives the size of a room, hell the ensuring chaos will make sure anyone in her way is gone! The best part? She has a large number of these!”

Abilities

Crime Expert Extraordinaire

*Caused mass crime to an entire city singlehandedly

*Rode ROCKETS INTO A BUILDING

*Arsonist expert

Criminal Escape Artist

*Escaped the best cops of the League Universe

*Escaped a collapsing building

Weaponsmith and Markswoman

*Mostly with her arsenal


Dancer

Combatant Expert

*Can battle against the roster of League

Terrain Adjuster

*Can rocket surf without suffering wind resistance

*Capable of fighting and having fun anywhere



Get Excited!

*Temporary speed boost

*Caused normally by destroying a turret or killing an enemy

Wendy: “While Jinx isn’t a Mutant, shes something more: a criminal mastermind.”

Hakuboshi: “To single-handedly reduce a city to chaos really shows. Even moreso if she plans ahead.”

Wendy: “Hell, she went Dr. Strangelove and arrived on a series of rockets for kicks! Not even there did she stop.”

Hakuboshi: “This all really adds up to how shes a worthy warrior for League. When you get mystics, masters of martial arts, eldritch abominations, warlords, and… HIM."

Hakuboshi: “It really speaks volume to just how dangerous Jinx truly is.

Wendy: “And while shes not a runner, she can get a speed boost via adrenaline rush when she kills someone. This passive ability is righteously called Get Excited.”

Feats

Single-handedly brought mass crime to Piltover

Eluded Vi, one of the best officers of Piltover

Can go against the massive roster of League of Legends

*This includes TEEMO

Weaknesses

Rather reckless and devil-may-care if her trailer is to go by

Lacks armor

Less durable than some of the Champions

Hakuboshi: “Jinx is reckless and chaotic, this is a worthy set… but also her biggest weakness.”

Wendy: “One? Just look at her! She doesn’t wear armor! Also, while Jinxie here can take a few cuts and gunshots, shes not winning any heavyweight boxing matches anytime soon. She NEEDS her weapons to work for her, otherwise, she’ll be open for a beat down.”

Hakuboshi: “However, it stands to help that she CAN fight on par with even the best of the Champions. Ranging from scientists to ancient warriors. Not to mention she did turn a city known for its nearly non-existent crime rate into her own personal playground.”

Wendy: “Will it be enough to take on Wanda Wilson however? After all, New York isn’t Zaun. I guess we’ll find out soon enough!”

(Jinx: “Shes such a loser~ always ready to cry.”)