The Sniper vs. Garrus Vakarian - Prelude

Hakuboshi: “From the White Death himself: Simos Hähyä to Marie Ljalková, the sniper is one of the most feared types of soldiers imaginable. Next to medical experts and spies.”

Wendy: “And these two can be either your best friend, or your worst nightmare! And while these two deadpan snipers can kill you from a good hundred yards, they can also be social drinking buddies or mercenaries for hire… sort of the latter mostly. We’re talking about the Snipa’, the Australian marksman.”

Hakuboshi: “And Garrus Vakarian, the Turian marksman. I’m Haku and shes Wendy.”

Wendy: “And we’re here to make possibly the shortest fight imaginable, here, on DEATH BATTLE!

 

SNIPER

 

BIOGAPHY

Hakuboshi: “Around six foot two; the Sniper – or Mundy as hes known by, hails from the most dangerous place on Earth.”

Wendy: “New Jersey!”

Hakuboshi: “Wrong.”

Wendy: “Detroit?”

Hakuboshi: “Wrong again.”

Wendy: “… Africa?”

Hakuboshi: “Australia!”

Wendy: “Oh right! Anyway, theres a reason why this is important. In this universe; the Australians… are even more badasses than they already are.”

Hakuboshi: “A new element was discovered there, and it was dubbed Australium. This element turned a nation of savages into muscular and mustached men and women who can be super scientists one second, and testosterone filled warriors the next.”

Wendy: “Why Mundy isn’t the same is an unknown. Him and his folks like less like people who’d punch your head into next Thursday and more like normal people. Mundy himself survived in the wild through sniping, honing his skills enough that be became a professional mercenary. Hes also a part-time alien watcher.”

 

WEAPONS

 
Sniper Rifle

*1 shot a time

*25 rounds

Huntsman

*1 arrow a time

*12 rounds carried

Sydney Sleeper

*Fires jarate-shots basically

*25 shots a time

*No backup ammo

 

Jarate

*A jar of urine

*Allows mini-crit damage for a few seconds

*Can douse out flames on allies

*20 second recharge

Submachine Gun

*25 round magazine

*75 overall rounds


Razorback

*One time protection against backstabs

*Stuns enemies who backstab

Cozy Camper

*Heals Sniper by one point per second

*Sniper loses all flinching issues

 

Kukri

*Popular among the Gurka Forces


Tribalman’s Shiv

*Causes bleeding damage on impact

*Weaker than Kukri


The Bushwacka

*Deals crits on what would normally be mini-crits

 

Wendy: “We really went all out on secondary weapons did we?”

Hakuboshi: “Most of his best backups. We have the sniper rifle and its alternates such as the Huntsman, a popular bow and arrow that’s sometimes considered better due to better steady while sacrificing a scope.”

Wendy: “And the Sydney Sniper, while unable to save burning allies, will allow mini-crits, not actual crits, but enough to deal more damage and wear on the enemy.”

Hakuboshi: “And now we go to his secondary set, normally available in the camping bag known as the Cozy Camper.”

Wendy: “… I get it!”

Hakuboshi: “While he gains a bit of health from the camping bag alone, he has quite a bit that preserves his health while wearing on his foes. The Razorback is the infamous one as it protects him from one backstab a time.”

Wendy: “But is it even useful anymore? I mean, even free to play users would see the battey pack and change their minds about stabbing him right?”

Hakuboshi: “The heat of battle CAN make people go by instinct rather than rationality sometimes.”

Wendy: “… Lag can be your friend kids. The last secondary item is the can of jarate which is.., his own piss… How the hell is that useful!?”

Hakuboshi: “Actually, while the game doesn’t use it, that’s actually a smart weapon as it was used in battles hundreds of times in the past. Think of biological warfare. By using urine or feces, you can infect your opponent, letting them die of a painful and humiliating death. Also, hes throwing a glass jar of urine. Urine contains not just bodily fluids, but sodium, or as we know: salt.”

Wendy: “So we’re talking hundreds of cuts in the face with God knows how much of your own bodily waste getting into blood and salt for burning effects… that’s… that actually sounds gruesome when you think about it.”

Hakuboshi: “Also useful for decloaking spies and getting fire off of allies.”

Wendy: “Hell no! Let me burn to death if given the option!”

Hakuboshi: “I’ll write that down. Our last set is the submachine gun, which is… well, a submachine gun. That leads us to his melee weapons: the kukri, a curved knife that seems to be around a good foot long and used in case he gets cornered.”

Wendy: “And the Tribesman’s Shiv, which does what you’d expect ALL the weapons mentioned to do: cause bleeding damage and, while weaker than the kukri, does allow a good combination with the jarate and teammates for a painful and quick death.”

 

ABILITIES

Master Marksman

*Can score multiple headshots in a row

*Cab cause domino effects such as getting a Demoman to kill himself in a panic

Amazing Eyesight

*Can score headshots with a BOW AND ARROW

Survival Expert

*Has been noted to be an outsdoorman

*Lives in Australia

Peak Human Durability

*If given the chance, can survive stabs, burning, punches, and bleeding all in one setting

*Withstood being launched from a two-story building (though hurt from the explosion)

Skewer

*Uses an arrow to stun enemies, kills them with one hit

 

Hakuboshi: “Other than his expert marksmanship, Mr. Mundy is quite the survivalist. Known to live in his own van, the man has been on alien sight-seeing and can take some punishment if hes lucky. From Pyro flames to being gunned at by Sentries.”

Wendy: “Also, he can at least run at full efficiency after falling from two-three stories. Considering how many times he gets shot at, it’s a good thing to have some sort of endurance.”

Hakuboshi: “He can also kill a person with a single stab from his arrow.”

Wendy: “How the hell does that happen!? Does it jab into their hearts or something and somehow bleeds them out?”

Hakuboshi: “I always pictured that.  An arrow to the heart, you’re stunned from shock, he twists said arrow than juts it out suddenly. If the shock doesn’t kill you than the ensuring bleed out from internal injuries will.”

 

FEATS

Survived in AUSTALIA need we say more?

Highly competent among his team, sometimes as good as Spy or Engi

Has got the drop on a Spy before

Alongside his team, has defeated armies of Robots, Zombies, selves, and many supernatural threats

WEAKNESSES

Not effective at close ranged combat

Can’t take as much damage as his allies

Slow movement when scoped

 

Hakuboshi: “Unlike his fellow Australians, Sniper doesn’t fare well in close ranged combat. His submachine gun is effective from up close but it scatters from range. With only his blades can he work well.”

Wendy: “Also, theres a reason WHY hes support. He relies on causing his foes to suffer painfully while his team works on killing them. By himself… not so much.”

Hakuboshi: “In the end, its all about skill. He’d have a hard time up close, but hes second to none other wise.”

 

(Sniper: “Feelings? Look mate, you know who has alota’ feelings? Blokes that bludgeon their wives with a golf trophy. Professionals have standards. Be polite, be efficient, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.”)

 

GARRUS

 

BIOGRAPHY

Hakuboshi: “The much-loved bro of Shepard. Garrus was raised by a by-the-book cop of a father, hoping to earn his respect as one’d expect from the Turian culture. Being trained from childhood, Garrus gained access to C-SEC, the police force of the Citadel. However, it wasn’t as he’d hoped.”

Wendy: “The poor bastard kept getting more and more red tape, forced to follow by their rules. Of course, his sense of justice was always morally black and white. Never much room for gray.”

Hakuboshi: “That changed when he met Jane… or John Shepard. Garrus was tracking down a man who was hired to set a hit on the Quarian: Tali’Zorah. Allying with Shepard, Kaidan, Ashley, and Wrex… or just those three if you didn’t meet Wrex… they saved Tali and Garrus offered to assist in Shepard’s hunt to bring down Saren. Garrus was smart enough to automatically know Saren was evil by instinct, but as a C-SEC officer, couldn’t do a thing about it.”

Wendy: “Luckily, he would become a part of the Normandy, fighting alongside humans, Asari, a Quarian, and a Krogan to bring Saren down. After the adventure, he became a vigilante on Omega, the Detroit of the Mass Effect Universe.”

Hakuboshi: “Seriously? Whats with you and Detroit? Anyway, Garrus would become a target for the three big named Mercenary groups: the Blood Pack, the Eclipse, and the Blue Suns. He was betrayed by a friend who offered to help… and as a result, his squad was slaughtered. All hope seemed lost. As Garrus prepared to say goodbye to his father, he noticed a familiar N7 emblem and was back with Shepard. Joining his formerly deceased friend; Garrus helped bring down the Collectors.”

Wendy: “Basically, alien crickets.”

Hakuboshi: “And with Shepard’s help, Garrus would get revenge on the traitor… or realize it was neither of their faults and let him go… He then became the advisor for the Turians when the Reapers showed up, and got himself those Quarian hips.”

Wendy: “Huh?  I romanced him.”

Hakuboshi: “… You heartless wretch.”

Wendy: “Says the woman who didn’t hug Tali!”

 

WEAPONS


M-92 Mantis

*1 shot a time

*9 total rounds


Black Widow

*3 shots a time

*15 total rounds

M-98 Widow

*1 round a time

*7 total rounds

 
M-15 Vindicator

*24 shots

*144 total

*Three round burst

Phaeston

*50 shots

*300 total

 
Visor

*Allows Garrus to keep track of his and his allies’ kill feed

*Detect biotic fields from 100 meters away, also provides optimized firing solution to biotic fields and kinetic barriers

*Monitors biofeedback of target within 10 meters to detect heart rate fluctuations and changes of the breathing patterns (only for Council Races such as Humans, Turians, Salarians, and Asari)

*Sonar, thermal, LADAR, and EM Targeting

Armor hotlink for tracking incoming fire and microfraction of outgoing shots through kinetic barriers

*MP3 Player

*Turian Porn Player

Omnitool

*All-purpose item wrist computer

*Can decrypt, encode, and hack machines and data

*Also doubles as a camera, omni-gel dispenser, elemental attacking

*Can be used as a blunt object or create a blade

 

 

Hakuboshi: “While he can use a pistol; Garrus if more comfortable with sniping and assault rifles. As a result, he works best at a distance and can even hold his own upclose.”

Wendy: “From the ultimately awesome Black Widow sniper to the M-98 Widow, these sniper rifles deal short work of his enemies while his assault rifles work best for short and medium range.”

Hakuboshi: “And while not a weapon per-say; Garrus has a visor that aids him with detecting, score-charting, and musical entertainment.”

Wendy: “And as shown on ‘ Mess Perfect series… porn viewing… I need one of those stat, Lady hasn’t been up to par recently.”

Hakuboshi: “What, tentacles are getting boring?”

Wendy: “She forgets I’m allergic to leather.”

Hakuboshi: “Wait, people can get allergic to-… Moving on. Garrus has the Omnitool; basically, whatever you want to do, it can do. From being used as a credit card machine to beating up fools by smacking them. Its also how he uses his ‘powers’ per say.”

 

ABILITIES

Turian Physiology

*Physically superior to humans

*Can’t eat human food due to Dextro-amino acids

*Has a digestive system similar to birds and reptiles

*Trained to be a combat fighter by his father since he was young

Shields

*Protects his armor and skin

*Recharge overtime

Master Marksman

*Trained by his father

*Can score multiple headshots in a row

*Skills kept sharp from his time as a mercenary

*King of the Bottle Shooters

C-SEC Training

*Basically a space cop

Natural Leader

*Easily one of the best choices when leading others

*Values teamwork as much as justice

POWERS

First Aid

*Uses omnigel

Tactical Armor

*Grants Shield Boost (which does as the name suggests)

Overload

*As the name suggests, overloads the electronics on weapons

Concussive Shot

*The next bullet strikes with more force

*Recharges quickly

Armor Piercing Rounds

*Deals double damage to armored and unarmed enemies

Proximity Mine

*Garrus fires a small sticky bomb as a trap

*Deals heavy damage to anyone near

*Detonates after 10 seconds

*Range of explosive can be improved via Damping

 

Hakuboshi: “One thing that sets Garrus apart from humans is his physiology. The Turians are avian-like in form, but they can’t eat our food as doing so will cause allergic reactions that have the chance to be fatal if not cured.”

Wendy: “Considering that he has omnigel, I don’t know if that’s a problem. The damn thing can cure almost anything.”

Hakuboshi: “Thankfully for Garrus, hes a trained soldier and officer so chances are, hes the least likely to be killed by-say, a piece of ham… though your food can kill anything.”

Wendy: “Go fuck yourself.”

Hakuboshi: “Wish I could. As I was saying; Garrus is a natural leader, easily THE best choice for leading the team on the suicide mission while using his shields for defense. Lastly are his multiple choices for powers.”

Wendy: “From the medicine of first aid to his anti-tech abilities such as proximity mines and overload; Garrus has his range of choice abilities and with his powers that enhance his damage such as the concussive rounds and armor piercing rounds; he has his work cut out for him.”

 

FEATS

Deduced Saren was evil without the need of being convinced

Became an expert sniper throughout the years

Held his own from three Mercenary groups at once

Took a missile to the face and survived  

Assisted in defeating the Collectors on their home turf

Became the lead advisor for the Turian effort against the Reapers

 

WEAKNESSES

Can get cloudy judgment easily

Can’t resist Tali’s hips*

Can’t ingest human food or drinks (water is okay as long as its clean)

 

Hakuboshi: “Most of Garrus’ main weaknesses are in his personality. He can get angered easily, and as a result, make risky mistakes.”

Wendy: “Not that it matters. His real issue IS his biology afterall. If hes on Earth, he’d need to find something to eat or drink that’s tailored for Turians or Quarians unless he wants to die an allergy related death.”

Hakuboshi: “However, Garrus is a survivor, he took a mssile to the face, fought off entire armies by himself, and proved to be the best bro ever.”

Wendy: “Or love interest.” (sighs in pleasure)

 

(Garrus: “I’m Garrus Vakarian, and this is now my favorite spot on the Citadel!”

Shepard: “Its windy up here.”

Garrus: “Think I’m going to erect a monument right here – bronze this gun so the whole galaxy knows.”

Shepard: “That you’re the king of the bottle shooters. Glad you’re around Garrus, never know when the bottles might revolt.”)